From Naruto to Alice, A Tea Party!
by Dory'n'Confu
Summary: A demented parody written about what happens after Sasuke enters Naruto's mind when he is talking to the Kyuubi, written by two bored girls that are in math class. Parody, M/F, M/M, Crack, Silly Mpreg, swearing and bad parenting. R&R please!
1. Seriously, WTF is he thinking?

Greetings Reader. This is Confu the Fighting Mongoose, one of the authoresses. This story was written back in our 8th grade, so please excuse our…mistakes. LAWLness. Based on what we thought would happen after the end of a chapter. We seem to have many allusions to the "True Naruto Style" fan videos, episodes 1-3, and we DO NOT own them. We do not own Naruto either. Enjoy.

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As Sasuke was holding the Kyuubi, he sneezed and let out a fart. The Kyuubi broke out into laughter and Naruto ran away, it smelled! Sasuke was so embarrassed that he fainted.

In the next room, Sakura was having tea with Orochimaru. Kabuto walked up to them wearing a frilly apron with a teapot on it. "Would you like any tea ladies?" Kabuto asked.

"I'm not a lady!" Sakura yelled, but before she could say she was a woman, Orochimaru interrupted. "Yeah you aren't!"

Snickering, Naruto then ran into the room. "OMG! This is like; a hundred floors the wrong room!"

Sakura walks over and hits Naruto, slamming him against the wall. "Naruto you idiot!" Sakura said.

"Stop hitting me Sakura, with your monstrous strength!"

Sakura got mad and pulled out a shovel, dug a hole, put a flower in it, covered it, then said. "Ha! The deed is done!"

Confused, Naruto fainted. Sakura then got a naughty yaoi/shonen-ai fangirlism idea. She took the two fainted boys and left them in a room.

They both awoke. "Hey Sasuke! Want to play some Snakes and Ladders!" Naruto asked.

Sasuke began to cry, "I hate snakes and I'm afraid of ladders! Tall ones too!" Sasuke cried out.

Orochimaru jumped up and said "How can you hate snakes, I am a snake, and for saying that you must die! Aw crap, I can't kill you, but if I could I would..."

"Would you please stop talking now, we get the point already, gosh you talk too much." Sasuke said.

Out of nowhere Lee says "Would you two please keep it down! I'm trying to have tea with Gai-Sensei and Kabuto!"

"Lee?!"

"Gai-Sensei?"

"LEE!"

"GAI-SENSEI!"

"LEEE!"

"OWAAAAH!"

"OMG shut up!" Sakura yelled, stuffing some carrots in Lee's mouth.

"The doors locked kick it in!" Kiba yelled.

Lee then yells "Check this shit out mofo!"

"Oh no, this door is mine!" Sasuke yelled.

"OMG, I said SHUT UP!!" Sakura yelled.

Lee replies, "Aw come on, we're just having fun!"

Everyone in the room walked up to Sakura. Naruto yells, "We just wanna know, what the hell is up with your gigantic forehead!"

Sakura was going insane. "Shut. The. Hell. Up! I was born that way you beach! Ever hear of birth defects?"

Ignoring Sakura, Sasuke walked up to Naruto. "Wanna go on a date? We can dance together!"

"Yeah sure!" Naruto yelled while squinting his eyes.

"OMG! SHUT UP!!" Sakura yelled.

"Girl! Please! It's not that bad! Let's go get our nails done." Orochimaru told Sakura.

Everyone sweat dropped. Suddenly, Gaara on Kyuubi's back ran in. Lee suddenly jumped him. "OMG! It's all good! Bring it on down to Lee baby! Bring it all down" Gaara shouts "Lets fly, YeeHaw!"

-End of Chapter 1-

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Oh goodness! The story will get even…better?


	2. Why won't anyone shut up?

Greetings again Earthlings! Confu here! Here is chapter two of what entertained us whilst we sat in our first hour, math class. Again we do not own any of the references to "True Naruto Style" videos or actually Naruto. Enjoy.

Kakashi walked in. "Welcome to Sex-Ed, may all your dreams come true! I like to start things off with a test. I want you to draw..."

Sasuke interrupts Kakashi. "Would you please stop Kakashi? We're not in Sex-Ed!"

"But Sasuke, I was just getting to the good part!" Kakashi said.

"Like, OMG, Gaara marry me!" Lee said. Five minutes later. "Yes." Gaara replied.

"OMFG shut the F up!" Sakura said. Everyone ignored her. "Why. Won't. Anyone. Shut. Up!" Sakura yelled, and then started banging her head on the wall.

Naruto says to Sakura, "Dude Sakura, this is my mind not yours." As the blood started gushing out of Sakura's head, Naruto states that, "Dude. Sakura, you're not my bro anymore."

"I'm not a bro, I'm a sis! Oh wait no I'm not your sis! God why did I say that?" Sakura continues to hit her head on the wall.

Orochimaru says to Sakura, "But Sakura, earlier you said you weren't a lady." While he was holding a cup of tea with his pinky up.

Meanwhile, Kakashi was in the corner in fetal position, rocking back and forth, and pointing at the wall. "That bird, is this the essence of life? Shall it cleanse me of all sins? Is this true love?!"

Suddenly Jiraiya came flying through on a rope yelling, "I'm super pervert!" Jiraiya was too distracted by the randomly scattered women in the room that he ran into a tree that popped out of nowhere. Everyone ignored that.

Kabuto was sitting in the other corner, in fetal position. "Why doesn't Orochimaru like me, he likes Sasuke! I'm so jealous!" TT! Kabuto began to sob.

Across the room, Orochimaru was putting on a bridesmaid dress. Iruka burst through the door. "Like, omg, I came in the wrong door. A hundred floors the wrong room! Oh wait! I am in the right room! Sorry, okay, guess what!"

Everyone replied. (Except a couple making out coughNarutoandSasukecough) "What Iruka-Sensei?"

"Gaara and Lee are getting married!!" Iruka said grinning.

"Umm...we know that..." Kyuubi replied.

"NO, THEY ARE RIGHT NOW!" Iruka said.

"Like omg calm down Iruka!" Said Kakashi, pointing a finger at the chair, next to the tea table!

Dun Dun Dun! How will the cracky marriage between Gaara and Lee play out? Will Orochimaru ever find Kabuto to be of any worth? Will the voices inside of Sakura's head ever shut up? Why is Nar-u-to imagining this? Or is everyone actually inside of his head? And just how did Dory let me get away with all of this cracky-shonen-ai-ness?! FIND OUT NEXT CHAPTER, MAYBE?


	3. A Magical Baby

Hello. Yesssss. It is me again, Confu. Hopefully some questions and ponderings will be answered… Again, we do not own any of the references created from the "True Naruto Style" videos, or Naruto.

"Ummm...Kakashi-Sensei, that isn't Iruka-sensei." Naruto pointed out.

Sasuke for some reason was hitting a piñata. "Haha...AHAHAHAHA! GUESS WHAT! OMG...Hinata rhymes with piñata! AHAHA...What a loser!!" Sasuke said pointing at Hinata.

"OMG, you jerk!" Hinata yelled in his face, and began stepping on his toes.

"OMG... Hinata don't hit my boyfriend!" Naruto said using Rasengen on Hinata's stomach.

"Uhhh... thanks Naruto, but why do you have a dress on with an apron?" Sasuke questioned him.

"I was getting ready for the wedding, when I got sick, then I got these weird food cravings." Naruto told Sasuke hugging him.

"Umm... you're happier than usual!"

"That's because I'm going to have a baby!" Sasuke fainted.

Sasuke woke up. "It's okay, Sasuke, It's not your baby." Naruto told him. "It's Gai-sensei's." he said seriously. "WHAT!" Sasuke's eyes bulged out.

Sasuke suddenly woke up screaming. "OMG! What's wrong Sasuke? Why are you screaming?!" Naruto ran over to Sasuke, placing a hand under his neck and helped support him up.

"I had the worst dream ever! You were having Gai's baby!" Sasuke responded, panting. Naruto sat there very still, with a serious look on his face. "It's true." he responded after a while. Sasuke turned to Naruto. "Huh? Say that again." Sasuke said.

"It is Gai's baby." Naruto said with a smile.

Sasuke woke up screaming. "Sasuke! Sasuke! What's wrong?" Naruto ran over to him. "I...just had...the worst dream -more like nightmare- ever!" Sasuke told him, and held Naruto close. "I had a dream you were going to have a baby with Gai! It was horrible!" Sasuke told him, wiping his forehead of sweat.

"Umm...that's silly Sasuke! Why would I ever do that! I don't even know how I'm having one with you...all we did was dance!" Naruto told him.

"Umm...I slipped something into your drink..." Sasuke said quietly. "Huh?" Naruto asked puzzled. "Nothing..." Sasuke returned with a smile. 'Phew! I'm so glad it's not Gai's!' Sasuke thought to himself.

Suddenly, Jiraiya swung through. "Want some tea Mr. Whiskers?" he said as he swung by.

"Like, omg, don't harass my boyfriend!" Sasuke said eating a bagel.

Hinata then walks over. "Yo, what up?" she says to the couple. Sasuke then became angry. He used Chidori on her stomach.

"Eeee..." was all that could be heard as she flew away.

DA EHND UF TEH CHAPTUH!1

Oh no! What's this? Naruto is having a magical ninja baby in his head with Sasuke, and all they did was dance! And what is up with Hinata? Can't she see that her character is actually not needed in the story…and is only there momentarily for a punching bag?!

SADLY YOU WILL FIND OUT MORE ON THE NEXT EPIS--CHAPTER OF: From Naruto to Alice, A Tea Party! (( I am deeply ashamed now that I even came up with that title. ))


	4. A Ghey Wedding and The Truth

Yep. Chapter 4. Have you received a brain tumor yet? WE DO NOT OWN "TRUE NARUTO STYLE" VIDEOS OR NARUTO.

IF I OWNED NARUTO, IT WOULD HAVE ENDED BY NOW AND SASUKE WOULD FINALLY CAME OUT OF THE CLOSET AND ADMITTED HIS UNDYING LOVE TO NARUTO. 8D. -Confu

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"That took care of her." Sasuke said giving the peace sigh to nobody.

"Umm...Sasuke, she didn't do anything!" Naruto said.

"What are you talking about?! Did you see that kunai, and those eyes, those evil eyes!" Sasuke said while squinting and a snake like tongue came out.

'Umm...wow! I thought Hinata was blind… whoopsies! No wonder she didn't get why I gave her a stick for her birthday one time...' he told himself. "What are you talking about?" Naruto said.

"I swear, she at least had a kunai in her hand!" Sasuke said.

"Hey guys, why did you make me fly away?" Hinata asked, pulling out souvenirs from various different countries and walking back over to them. Sasuke used his Chidori again, sending Hinata away.

"Take that." Sasuke said. "Sasuke, NOO!" Naruto yelled as Hinata was still flying away.

"What?" Sasuke said shrugging his shoulders.

"Sasuke stop being so over protective." Naruto while slapping him against the face.

Suddenly, Iruka walks in. "Umm… are you guys going to the wedding or not?" Everyone left the room already to go to the wedding.

"And that class is how you skin a boar with your teeth…" Iruka said, being the priest. In the background, they were playing, 'Mr. Sandman'. Gaara was getting angry at that damn song. I'm the bride of this wedding! He couldn't take it anymore so he was going to take this into his own hands (okay...more like sand...).

"This is a wedding!" he yelled as he summoned his sand and blew up the disk player with it. He walked away, with a smirk on his face. 'Now to find Fuzzy Brows...' he told himself.

"NOO!" Kakashi yelled, "I love that song!" He fell on his knees, sobbing.

"Umm...Iruka, you can't be priest! You are reading from a cookbook!" Naruto told his old sensei. "Oookay… And the class didn't even take out the cooking utensils!" Iruka said with his head hung, in a low voice.

-Just a few feet away-

Kiba and Shino were sitting in the ugly white painted chairs they have at outdoor weddings waiting for it to start. "Wow...I think Kakashi gave too much to Iruka." Kiba told Shino, making a motion with his hand in front of his face, as if he was drinking a lot of something.

"Yes." was all that Shino said, but to himself he said, ' Dog Boy...Dog Boy… if only you knew what I did to you!' he suddenly smirked, but it was hidden because of his jacket.

"WHAT'S MY NAME BEOCH'S? Back in the day...I can still see them! The suffering children!" Ibiki said out loud, reading from the book performing as the priest as a terrified look was spread across his face.

"Omg… nooo!" Naruto dove to stop him from continuing. "You are on the wrong page!" Naruto flipped the book a few pages. "Read this you dumb-..." He said with a sigh.

-Across the backyard of who know's where-

Sasuke was waiting for Naruto to return when Sakura walked up.

"I...heard you…" she told her old teammate and heart throb.

Sasuke tensed. 'OMFG...she heard us?!' he told himself paranoid.

"You…were screaming... It was loud." she told him again.

Sasuke almost crapped his pants.

Sakura punched Sasuke. "OMG! WHY WON'T YOU ALL SHUT UP! YES, YES! I DID HEAR YOU SCREAMING BECAUSE YOU WOKE UP FROM A DREAM!" Sakura hit him again. "YOU PERVERT! I KNOW WHAT YOU WERE THINKING THAT I WAS THINKING ABOUT!" she yelled at him.

Just then Ino walked by. "Shut up billboard-forehead!" she told her rival, sticking her tongue out.

Sakura fainted.

-Ahem, btw, Sakura is okay. She fainted from earlier head injuries-

A few hours went by and Naruto finally found a suitable priest...well sort of. He chose Jiraiya. He promised he wouldn't say anything perverted and not swing on the chandelier at the after party. Everyone took their seats and wedding started.

Gaara was beautiful. He had on a short, white wedding dress with spaghetti straps. It was in the late Spring. Lee well… he umm... had a dark green Tux on with his orange leg warmers still on. 

Who would have guessed...

Naruto began to sniffle, and Sasuke looked over at him. "You cry at weddings?" he asked Naruto, somewhat shocked.

"No! I'm having a baby and I'm not married yet!" Naruto began to cry.

"Ummm… I don't think I'm quite ready for commitment." Sasuke told Naruto. 'Shit...mood swings. Can't escape. Going to change in 5...4...3...2...1...' Sasuke thought to himself, and he began to sweat a little.

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN YOU AREN'T READY! WHAT DO YOU EXPECT ME TO DO? LIVE ALL BY MYSELF?" Naruto screamed at Sasuke and ranted on for 5 more minutes.

"I'm sorry?" he told Naruto. Naruto began to sob. "Noo… please don't go Sasuke! I wove you!" Naruto clung to Sasuke's arm. 'Score… I'm getting laid tonight' thought Sasuke.

Suddenly out of nowhere, Kiba fainted. Only Shino noticed because he dragged Kiba away.

"We are gathered here today to - UNDIES!! - join these two - SEXY...DID YOU SEE HER?- people in a wonderful union." Jiraiya started off.

Naruto mentally slapped himself. 'That idiot...he said he wouldn't do anything perverted...probably went drinking with Tsunade or something…' he thought to himself.

Suddenly Hinata walked up. "Hey guyz, waz up? Iz ben wondering why u guyz keep ditching yo home dawg?" she told the two of them. Naruto and Sasuke looked at each other in a flash. They were getting sick of her popping up…and talking like she knew them... An evil smirk crossed Naruto's face. 'Heh..don't mess with the pregnant man!' Sasuke said to himself, also smirking. "RASENGAN!" "CHIDORI!" they both yelled, hitting Hinata, hopefully the pinata wouldn't come back this time.

-End of Chapter 4-

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So…did you all survive? Hopefully the story is getting somewhat more… enjoyable. :


	5. Moar Magical Babies and Gai's Death

Well…great. Another chapter to make your ears bleed and your appendix burst. I DO NOT OWN NARUTO. If I did…

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"You may continue... father!" Gaara said sarcastically. He didn't like calling him that since he was saying pervertive things during the ceremony.

"Oh right...do you Gaara take...-I LIKE BIG BUTTS AND I CAN NOT LIE! YOU OTHER GIRLS CANT DENIE!- Lee to be your husband.

"I... I..." Gaara paused; he was trying to make a scene. "I do." Gaara finally said after pausing for 5 minutes.

Suddenly, the seal on Naruto breaks, and the Kyuubi comes out...killing everyone in its sight...Okay! Just kidding everyone!

...It's soon Lee's turn, but suddenly Sakura is standing near Lee, and she keeps repeating, "OMG… Shut up... shut up… I SAID! SHUT! UP!"

Lee gets reeeeally angry, so he magically finds some duct tape and tapes her up, and doesn't realize he didn't give her anything to breathe through. They continue the wedding, whilst Sakura continues to say "Shut up." (even if it was muffled) and everyone the new couple are seconds away from being married...

"Lee! Do you take -THIS SEXY HOT GAARA- to be your husband?" Jiraiya said. Lee and Gaara were both thinking to themselves 'Maybe we should've kept Iruka'.

"I DO!" Lee said jumping towards Gaara excitedly, and right before he goes in to kiss him, Ibuka erupts.

"Umm, I haven't said I now pronounce -THE SEXIEST COUPLE EVER!- Lee and Gaara! Ok now I said it! You may kiss the man!"

Lee then continued to jump towards Gaara to kiss him and before he could do that Sakura burst up to Lee and starts saying,"OMG SHUT UP!" even though her mouth was still ducked taped...

"Grrr!" Lee yelled, "This is not how youth shall be used!" he then struck a Good-Guy pose. He then kicked Sakura very hard, which just like the Chidori or Rasengan did, she went flying away, yelling, "Shuuuut Uuu--…" Then everyone was happy. Dogs barked, cats meowed, guns were fired, birds were shot down, Sasuke farted, Naruto had the baby (Sasuke fainted from that) Jiraiya got kicked for looking down Tsunade's shirt...bombs blew up...potato salad was eaten… oh and people cheered.

"Wait a minute!" Lee yelled while the celebration was going on. "WE...WE...DIDN'T KISS YET!!'' Lee burst into tears.

"Now, Now Lee... don't cry... it's bad luck to cry on our wedding day..." Gaara said in a persuading voice.

"But...-" Lee was interrupted. Gaara had kissed him before he could finish his sentence.

"There, do you feel better now?" Gaara said, and for some odd reason still was talking with a persuading voice.

"GAARA!!" Lee jumped on top of Gaara.

"GET OFF OF ME!" Gaara said.

"But Gaara... we're married now." Lee said in excitement.

"Yes I know, but we need to go take our pictures." Gaara said. The first picture looked odd, Naruto in a stupid pose saying 'Believe it!', Kakashi reading his Icha Icha Paradise book, Tsunade slapping Jiraiya for looking at her boobs again. And Jiraya looked like he was in pain.

"Sooo..." Sasuke said to Naruto "...what are we going to name all 9 children you just had..." he then farted again.

"Umm...I was just going to yell, 'Hey kid!'… But that won't work will it? How about...Red...Orange...Yellow...Green...Blue...Purple...Black...White...and George. Those sound good!" Naruto yelled.

"Uhh...why did you decide on all of those colors then the name 'George'?" Sasuke asked, confused.

"ARE YOU QUESTIONING HIS NAMING ABILITIES?" Kiba yelled at Sasuke.

Naruto heard this, and used Chidori on Kiba. "Bye bye!" Naruto yelled at his retrieving friend.

"Guess what everyone!" Lee yelled. "Gaara is going to have a baby!" Everyone either sweat dropped, fainted, or struck a Good-Guy pose… coughLeeandGaicough

Naruto replied with, "OMG? Already...how...you have been supervised the whole time…"

But Gaara knew the answer. "Remember when we were eating cake… and both of us happened to drop our forks... and didn't return for about 15 minutes?"

"Yes." Naruto replied with a serious look on his face.

"Well we called the magical Stork Fairy and I'm pregnant!" Gaara told everyone.

"Umm Gaara, there is no such thing as a Stork Fairy--" Ino said.

"YES. THERE. IS!! DON"T. GET. THE. HULK. MAD. GRRRR…" Gaara started going crazy. His sand started killing every non-main character that the sand could find...

"Gaara settle down... I looove you!" Lee said in a persuading voice.

"OK honey, I'll get un-mad." Gaara said. "Only for the baby's sake." Gaara then placed his hand on his stomach and a serene, almost magical look was placed on his face. 8D

In the background everything was demolished even the church, and all that was left was the main characters...

"Where is Gai-Sensei?" Lee said sadly, looking around confused. "Oh well. Now what should we name our one and only kid, Gaara?" Lee asked.

"We're both pregnant with one kid so..." Lee pointed out.

"Oh, okay, well how about... Beavis and Butthead!" Gaara suggested.

"Okay that sounds great!" Lee said. Everyone burst into laughter.

"Ugh I barely escaped that sand! I would've been a gone—AHHH!!" Gai- sensei yelled out desperately as Gaara's sand attacked Gai. And all you could hear in the background was "HELP ME!! HELP ME!! AHHH…! But no one paid attention...

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I busted a gut a few times as I edited capitals and such for this chapter. I bet you didn't even chuckle. R&R please!


	6. Little Monsters, they grow up so fast!

HOLY CRAP?! WUT R U DOIN HERE?! Srsly. You actually made it to chapter six? –Claps hands- You obviously have removed the first brain tumor to come back and easily receive a second one. Expect a few more chapters of this crap. Enjoy.

We do not own Naruto. And for all that is holy, do NOT follow the parenting being used below. OO…

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Lee then questioned Gaara. "Where is that screaming coming from?" he asked.

"Huh?" Gaara replied.

"You know. The screaming." Lee told him.

"What? Are you crazy! No one is screaming!" He told him.

"OMG YES THERE IS!" Lee yelled. :(

Gaara put his hands over his eyes. "LA LA LA LA...I CANT HEAR YOU...LA LA LA LA!" Gaara yelled.

Lee quickly moved his hands over his ears. Then suddenly Lee began to cry. "Nooo! Gaara we have been married for 10 minutes and we are already having a fight! Waaaah!" Lee bawled.

"That's okay." Gaara said turning to Lee and making out with him.

"Umm...maybe we should go to the Tea Party and leave these two alone for a bit…" Naruto told everyone. They all then piled out of the yard.

While at the Tea Party Naruto and Sasuke we're having trouble with the 9 kids they just had…for some odd reason they were growing up extremely fast. One of them already looked like a 2yr old and another looked like a 1yr old. The 2yr olds name was George.

"GEORGE DON'T CLIMB ON KYUUBI'S BACK!" Naruto yelled.

As soon as Sasuke saw his kid in dangerm he fainted.

The 1yr olds name was Pooky. "POOKY!! DON'T EAT THAT GLUE!!" Naruto yelled.

Sasuke woke up. His first sight in waking up was seeing his kid eating glue he then, again, fainted.

"SASUKE! STOP FAINTING! AND HELP ME!!" Naruto yelled before he sighed, he started to get the idea that Sasuke was never going to help him with their kids. He knew he had to keep the kids out of danger while he was fainted on the ground.

Sasuke woke up. "Umm, Sasuke, should we get married, since we have kids already?" naruto asked.

"Whaaat??" Sasuke shrieked before he then fainted again.

"Ugh...not again." Naruto looked tired and annoyed.

The next thing you knew...well Sasuke knew...was that he was a married man. "Uhh...how did this happen?" He questioned Naruto.

"Simple. You talk in your sleep silly!" Naruto said cheerfully and quickly changed the subject to distract Sasuke. "Guess what! Stimpy is going to Ninja College! He plans on being a human shuriken...and I told him that's impossible." Naruto blabbed to Sasuke.

"Uhh...okay..." Sasuke didn't even care to question any more.

Suddenly, Hinata walked up. "Yoz guyz im bac!" she told them. Bad idea Hinata, bad idea. Sasuke, Naruto, and the 9 kids all used either Chidori or Rasengan on her.

Suddenly Kakashi burst through the door. "Omg, you killed Hinata and Sakura, you bastard!" Kakashi said pointing at Sasuke and Naruto. Sasuke was the first to speak, "You stupid fatass! Shut up!" he told Kakashi.

"Wait...wait wait. Why are we acting like we are from South Park again?" Naruto questioned his husband and sensei. "Iunno" they both said and shrugged.

"What are we suppose to talk like drunks? Okay I'll give it a shot..." Naruto said. "WEEEE...Pooky don'tch dush that you fucking retard...GO TO YOURSH FRUCKING ROOM NOWSH!" Naruto slurred as he pointed at a vase that had Pooky glued to it.

"Was that good? Or did I suck at acting like a drunk..?" Naruto asked Sasuke and Kakashi. Everyone started to clap, they were impressed he sounded like a drunk to them.

"But you act like that all the tim--" Kakashi said but he quickly shut his mouth because he knew Naruto would use Rasengan on him and send him flying like they did to Hinata the Pinata! "Whatever!" Kakashi said and pulled out his Icha Icha Paradise book and started reading it.

Meanwhile, Sasuke was trying to teach Yellow how to read. He had to say, she fucking sucked like shit at it. Oh well... what can you expect from a kid who came from Naruto and Sasuke?

-10 years later-

…Yellow, the famous Uchiha Fox Demon Missing-Nin. She's really evil and does scary stuff...like stare at you and say, "OOGLY LA BOOGLY" and make you run away. Simply because her parents never taught her how to read. What a shame...

-Back to the present-

"OMG? What happened to the baby food?" Naruto cried.

"Umm...I ate it." Sasuke told his spouse.

"Why the heck would you eat BABY food?" Naruto yelled.

"Caush...Shashuke wash hungwy." he said in a babyish way. Naruto fainted, the last thought in his mind was,'What a dumbass…'

Naruto woke up. "Wow dude... Where am I? I feel like I have a major hangover..." Naruto said. As he woke up, Sasuke looked over to him.

"Ummm...you were only fainted for 2 minutes and you feel like you have a hangover...try 10 hours it feels worse. Trust me, I know... " Sasuke said while putting his hand on his hip. "While you were fainted, I had to take care of all the kids. It was SCARY!" Sasuke said in a creepy voice.

"Hmph...try 10 hours of taking care of them! Trust me I know. You were fainted then." Naruto proclaimed standing up. A sudden thought occurred. "OMG! YOU KNOW WHAT I JUST NOTICED? When our kids say their first words, and they say 'Dadda', who the hell are the talking to?" Naruto said freaked out to death.

"This is a piece of shi- oh crap" Naruto turned to Yellow and he started to say his first words. "SHI...SHIT!!" Yellow said. "SHIT...SHIT...SHIT!!" Yellow yelled out excitedly running around the house.

"Look what you created Naruto! A swearing baby! You should be ashamed." Sasuke said.

"But… but Sasuke! It was an accident, I swear!" Naruto cried.

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What a lovely home life these two have together, and what lovely children they added to the world. /sarcasm

R&R please! Srsly guys, tell us how much it sucks, or if you even chuckled! Anything!


	7. TV really sucks these days!

UGH. Editing is just…not fun. The story is actually getting better but…I srsly doubt people are reading far into this.

We do not own Naruto.

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A few hours passed and Yellow was starting to talk...well not in English anyway. "Das haben wir gleich?" Yellow asked her parents.

"Uhh...sure..." Sasuke told his stupid daughter.

"Thanks momma." she then told him.

Sasuke sweatdropped and Naruto burst out laughing. Yellow then looked at Naruto. "In Ordnung?" she then asked him. But Naruto was still caught up with the whole, "momma" ordeal.

"AHAHA! OMG! AHAHAHA... SHE… HAHA... CALLED YOU MOMMY! AHAHAHA!" Naruto was rolling on the ground, tears coming down his face. "I'm going to bust a gut laughing so hard!" he continued while pounding his fist on the ground.

"Shit...whatever mom...Ihr entkommt mir nicht!" she said walking away. In the other room, you could still hear her swearing.

"Umm… maybe we shouldn't watch adult shows while with the kids." Sasuke suggested.

"Yeah...that would be a good idea!" Naruto responded. "Hmmm what should we watch? Oh I know! Family Guy...oh wait we shouldn't watch that because you're MOMMA!! AHAHAHAHA!!" Naruto continued to laugh. He kept teasing him the whole night and never stopped.

He went too far. Sasuke was getting pissed. "NARUTO!! LAY OFF!!'' Sasuke said in anger.

"Whats wrong... out of milk? I'll go get some more-- AHAHAHAHAHA!!" Naruto laughed out loud again.

Out of nowhere, Sasuke pulls out a kunai and threatens Naruto. "NARUTO! YOU BETTER SHUT THE HELL UP OR I'LL KILL YOU!" Sasuke said in anger and put away his kunai.

"Ok…okay… I'll stop… Momma! AHAHAHA!" Naruto was laughing again. "Oh Sasuke,I was just kidding! That was the last one, I swear." Naruto begged for his life, he knew Sasuke would kill him for sure.

Sasuke sighed. "Naruto, this is the last time I'm going to tell you... LAY OFF!" Sasuke told Naruto bluntly.

"Ok... Ok... fine. So what are we going to watch?" Naruto asked Sasuke. Naruto was scrolling through the channels. "Hey look! Happy Tree Friends! Ninja version." he said excitedly. He clicked on it.

"Umm...that looks like that really hurts...OMG...we do that to people with kunai? Ugh… that must really suck! I better think about that next time I beep a beep with some beep on a beep beeeep." Sasuke said. (Naruto was the one bleeping it out!)

"Uhh...maybe this was a bad idea! The kids found our weapons and are doing exactly what they see on TV!" Naruto complained.

"Okay… okay... change the channel then." Sasuke told him.

"Hey look! Foster's Home of Imaginary Friends!" Naruto said happily.

"Ok this looks ok too-- OMG what the hell is that rabbit doing?!" Naruto blurted out, repulsed.

"It looks like he's dancing and hoping around singing a stupid song--" Sasuke said.

"Umm, Sasuke, the kids are singing this gay song! Quick, change the channel!" Naruto said in panic.

"Okay this looks good. It's Dora the Explorer. This is a kid show, nothing bad should happen, right..." Sasuke said in worry because he had a bad feeling about this.

In the show Dora was riding a train saying stupid stuff like usual, and all of the sudden she falls off of the train and gets ran over. And since it was a kid show, the TV went to a black screen right away saying, 'We interrupt this program because a cartoon character is being ran over by a train and will be dead shortly. We will shortly go back to the show after she is done being killed and is replaced.'

"OMG! Sasuke, change the channel!" Naruto was looking around for the remote.

Sadly, no matter what channel you turned to, you could hear poor Dora's yelling of pain. Naruto then turned to the news.

"Like, OMG! Breaking News!" The news-lady-person said. "During a freak accident on the cartoon, 'Dora the Explorer', the main character, an annoying girl named Dora; was ran over by a train several times, and was pronounced dead 27 seconds ago. It was very bloody and her screams could be heard everywhere. We are also told this was a hate crime, because she was a rich little girl that annoyed many." the reporter finished. 

"OMG! They totally ripped that from South Park! Stupid reporters! GRRRR!" Naruto yelled.

"Okay, anyway back to important news. Can toothbrushes ACTAULLY kill? Right after this break…" the reporter said while some annoying News music was playing. Naruto turned off the TV.

"Wow TV sucks these days." Sasuke told him. "Yeah… that's for sure! I know! I have an idea. Let's pull out our PS3 and everyone can play a game!" Naruto said excitedly. "Sure dobe, whaaatever... ahaha... yeah there's no such thing as a PS3...loser.." Sasuke said.

"How about we just play PS2 then…" Naruto said.

"Ok, sounds good." Sasuke said. All of the sudden Jiraiya swings through the room, yelling "I'm super pervert!!" Sasuke was getting irritated. He would swing through every hour.

"Get me my shotgun! NARUTO! NOW! HURRY BEFORE HE LEAVES!" Sasuke yelled out impatiently.

"Okay, okay, here." Naruto said handing the gun to Sasuke.

Sasuke aimed for his head but he hit him in his butt. All you could hear in the background was 'OW! OMFG! My 'beeping' 'beep''.

Sasuke didn't care, as long as he hit him and hoped it gone to his head not to come through here again.

"Umm, Sasuke... one of the kids is smelling your underwear."Nnaruto pointed out.

"OMFG WHAT?!" Sasuke yelled. "Fred, get back here with my undies!" Sasuke yelled while chasing him.

'Hmm… what game should we play?' Naruto thought to himself while going through their collection of games.

* * *

Another chapter. Another sigh of the Apocalypse. –Confu

LOL C U NXT TIEM KIDZ!!


	8. Someone else dies

Well Earthlings. Last chapter. We ended up losing some of what we wrote, and actually never finished the story. The next story we wrote together is, "Konoha Action News Channel 9", and was edited by Dory! So check it out!

We do not own Naruto! Thank God!

* * *

Sasuke finally ended up getting his frilly thong back, with a cuddly bunny printed on the front. "So, what game did you pick out Naruto?" Sasuke asked.

"Umm... some 'Naruto' ninja game. It's like based off this manga and anime..." Naruto told Sasuke.

"Aww damn! Not that game again! I've beaten it 6 times already..." Sasuke said folding his arms in annoyance.

"Fine, fine. Let's play Donkey Kong then." Naruto told him. After 5 minutes of playing, they gave up.

"This game sucks! It's so hard! I keep dying!" Sasuke complained, his thong on his head.

"Well, for one, you can't see because your UNDIES are covering your eyes," Naruto snickered. "And two, you have the contoller backwards. And you haven't even pressed the play button yet." Naruto pointed out.

"Oh, so that's why it keeps showing me dying the EXACT same way over and over again." Sasuke said tossing the controller down and turning off the system so he could stand up. He helped Naruto stand up next and they brushed themselves off lightly.

"Well, I think we should go to bed now." Sasuke said. He had to come up with an excuse so he didn't have to play that damn game anymore.

"Alright, roll call then."

"...Ren?"

"PRESENT!" Ren said.

"Stimpy!"

"HERE!" Stimpy said.

"Sleepy?"

"Zzzzz…" Sleepy snored.

"Okay, ugh, Miso Pork?"

"HERE!"

"POOKY?! WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?!"

"…Here."

"GEORGE!"

"HERE" said George.

"YELLOW?"

"In Ordnung!"

"Okay, great everyone's here. NOW GET TO BED! ALL OF YOU!" Naruto yelled out.

"Yes daddy." All of the children said, except Sleepy and Yellow. Naruto looked smug for being called 'Daddy', while a vein was throbbing on Sasuke's head. "Someone carry Sleepy to his bed." Sasuke said grinding his teeth.

"Okay, I will." Pooky volunteered.

Secretly, Fred was hiding under the sink and Doc had gotten into his parent's 'adult ninja pr0n' and nobody knew until the morning...

"DAMN YOU JIRAIYA FOR LEAVING YOUR ICHA ICHA PARADISE IN OUR HOUSE!" Naruto yelled.

Kakashi popped in out of nowhere. "Huh? Did I hear Icha Icha Paradise?" Kakashi asked.

"Where the hell did you come from?" Sasuke asked.

"Oh...well I have a key. But I lost it so I came through the window!" Kakashi said cheerfully.

"..." was all Sasuke could muster.

"Get. Out. Of. My. House!" Naruto told Kakashi, pushing him out forcefully towards the door.

Suddenly a smoke bomb was thrown inside the those. GASP OMG OMG GASP !!1!Ione!1one! gasp oo!! OMG NO! OO! !! Everything became very dramatic.

"Jiraiya! What the hell! I thought I shot you in the butt! And now you're throwing smoke bombs in our house." Sasuke was searching for his gun again.

"Umm, I thought we were inside of my head. Not at a house." Naruto was confused. Since when did his head be the house that they lived inside of?

"We are in your head silly. You create the house in here." Sasuke said.

"Ohhh yeah, that's right!" Naruto said aloud. For being in his own head, he sure wasn't very smart at times. 'Oh yeah!' he thought. 'If I can imagine anything, doesn't that mean I can do this..?'

Suddenly a girls wig was placed on Jiraiya's head. Then a frilly pink training bra was placed over his shirt. Then lipstick was put on his lips. An elephant appeared in the house, and a whole bunch of money fell from the sky. Jiraiya was running around screaming in a womanly voice, while Sasuke started jumping for joy. "I WON THE LOTTERLY! WOOPY! OOOOOH YEEEEAAAAHHH!" Sasuke said yelling and taking a ride on the elephants back.

"Umm, Sasuke. I imagined that money." Naruto told him.

"Shit." Sasuke started to pout.

"Okay, Sasuke if it makes you feel any better...," Naruto started. "YOU JUST WON THE LOTTERY!" He yelled excitedly.

Sasuke was so excited he started jumping up and down. He grabbed a paper bag out of nowhere and started to place the money in the bag. "I'm, I mean...WE'RE RICH! WOOPIE!" Sasuke said.

Jiraiya tried to attempt to take the money falling from the sky, but Naruto quickly went crazy on him and used Rasengan sending him flying away. All that you could hear was. "I GOT A DOOOLLAAAR..!" he said while flying away.

Before you knew it, all of the children were riding on the elephant's back, except for Sleepy, he was still asleep. Temari's head popped through the window and yelled, "Yeeeehaaaw!" and disappeared.

"Umm...that was odd!" Sasuke yelled. "Get my shot gun dear!" he said again.

Naruto fetched his shot gun and asked, "Why do you need this?"

"Well, I just want to hold it because I can..." Sasuke said sarcastically.

"Really?" Naruto asked.

"No you dumb-shit! I'm soooo sick of people popping up into our house so I'm going to shoot the next person who pops in!" Sasuke yelled.

"I have cookies and milk boys!" Tsunade said jumping into the house.

BAM! Sasuke shot Tsunade.

"Nooooo! Grandma!" Naruto yelled, running over to Tsunade, tears in his eyes. "You! You shot her!" Naruto cried even harder.

"Whooooops." Sasuke said as if nothing happened, shrugging his shoulders.

There was a faint noise coming from Tsunade. "Ugh...I'm going to k-kill you!" Tsunade muttered out desperately and was gasping for breath.

"Sasuke! How could you do this?!" Naruto said while crying.

"Hey she is the one who jumped in here. And I did say the next person to come through here will get shot didn't I?" Sasuke said while placing the shotgun over his shoulders.

Another noise was heard. "B-bah…B-bast…ard." Tsunade was barely heard as she whispered most likely her last breath.

"What? Say that again?" Sasuke said mockingly.

"BASTARD!" she yelled out with the last of her strength.

"OMG YOU KILLED TSUNADE!" Naruto yelled.

"You bastard" Kakashi said not looking up from his book and flipped a page over.

"What? Don't look at me! You said you wanted to be the next Hokage, right, Naruto? So you can be the 6th Hokage now that she is dead." Sasuke said while giving Naruto thumbs up.

After ten minutes of Sasuke smiling with his thumbs up, did Naruto finally realize something. "OMG! I CAN BE HOKAGE! A-and my husband is going to go to jail..." Naruto said with a small tear leaking from his eye.

"He killed the Hokage!" he said sadly. "If I'm Hokage, and you go to jail. Who will watch and take care of the kids?" Naruto asked.

"OMFG I WILL!" Kakashi squeeled.

"Oo.." both Sasuke and Naruto said. "Hell. No." they both said after a while in agreement.

"Aw, why?" Kakashi asked sweetly.

"BECAUSE! YOU MIGHT KILL THEM!" Naruto yelled.

"So?" Kakashi said as if that didn't matter.

"And you are a pervert!" Sasuke cried out loud.

"...And you aren't?" Kakashi said raising an eyebrow.

"Ugh, it looks like we have no choice." Naruto said while regretting every word. "You can watch them, BUT, no talking, watching, or even thinking about pervertive stuff! And that includes reading about it." Naruto said.

"AW! COME ON! Just one book?" Kakashi pleaded. He also started to beg. "Please?"

"..." Naruto paused before speaking, "NO!!" he said with an evil look.

"Ahh, fine, okay." Kakashi said dejectedly.

Gratefully, Sasuke didn't have to go to jail, but he had to clean up garbage for the night. Naruto was sworn in as Hokage. But, of course, Kakashi didn't listen and read his Icha Icha Paradise as a bed time story to the kids. When Naruto got back...let's just say the kids weren't acting normal…

* * *

Uhhh. We lost the rest to the story. I hope you somewhat enjoyed! R&R please!

TUNE IN NEXT TIME KIDS!


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